Hurray for the blob! I got my scan yesterday and we saw a wonderful little splodge of a person with a flicker of a heartbeat. I was SO relieved, even though i wasn't really that concerned something was wrong. I had a vaginal swab while i was there which will test for stuff like thrush and Strep B. Should get my results for that in a few weeks.
It was my booking in appointment with the midwife today too. She was lovely! Completely perfect in her manner - not too sympathetic so's to be just pathetic and not too matter of fact so's to be insensitive. She asked me all the usual questions about whether the husband and i are blood relatives and if i've had a female circumcision ::wince:: Then she took a few vials of blood and gave me stuff to read. Next appointment at 16 weeks.
Today i wandered into town at lunch. My pregnancy magazine tells me that a perfect lunch hour for a pregnant lady should be comprised of 15 minutes of walking, 30 minutes of sitting in a cafe or a park eating and 15 minutes with the feet up, literally. So i got a sarnie and a smoothie from the deli and sat in the park. As i was wandering about though i saw loads of pregnant ladies and women with prams and pushchairs, all looking positively bored out of their minds. I hope they realise just how lucky they are and that there are women who would quite probably kill to be in their shoes.
Then as i was sitting eating i fell in to a mornge because i was jealous of all the normal mums. All i want to do, and all i have wanted to do for the past 3 years is be a mum. I just want to have a living child that i can spend time with and teach and get mad at and laugh at and all those other normal things that normal mums with normal, not dead, babys do. I've got one foot in work and one foot in motherhood. I completely resent the fact that i have to be working at all! I shouldn't be here! I should be at home with a naughty 19 month old tearing up the place while i try to sooth a crying 6 month old.
It's not fair.
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