Oh my goodness i cannot for the life of me motivate myself!!! I am sat at work trying to make a start and i can't because i keep getting sidetracked by my stupid thoughts...
1. I must leave my maternity leave as pencilled in on my annual leave chart because if i rub it out and change it to red pen then i'll be jinxing it.
2. I wonder if the baby has died. How would i know...? Symptoms would stop. I still have symptoms. How long would it take for them to stop...? Some of them wouldn't stop as long as the baby is still in me, like peeing all the time.
3. Thinking about my 20 week scan, if the baby has something wrong with it we will keep it regardless. If it's something like a cleft palette obviously that's doable, but what if it's something else. What if it's anencephally? Well i won't let them do a c-section because that's the end then! They will have to induce me... but what if my uterus ruptures...?
OH MY FUCKING GOD SHUT UP!!! SHUT UP!! SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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