30 weeks 1 day

I've turned the 30 week corner! Three quarters of the way there! This means that i only have ten weeks left at the absolute most, but it is more likely to be 8 or 9. It's a weird feeling. I have been trying not to mentally rush through this and to enjoy each day as it comes, but it's really hard sometimes. Now i'm over 30 weeks and it seems to have gone by so fast! It doesn't seem two minutes since i was turning 25 weeks and remarking on how it was a milestone for me. Now i only have to do that same period of time again twice (almost) and i'm done!

I let myself have a little daydream today. I was thinking about sending a birth announcement to the vicar who did our sons and daughters funerals and writing a letter telling him that we would like to get this little one Christened by him in the summer. It was a nice daydream and i didn't think any negative thoughts really at all. Of course there's always the subconscious insertion of "hopefully" and "if we're lucky" before and after everything i think, do or say relating to this baby, but that's par for the course!

We have a boys name that we both really, really like. It's a bit different, which is why we're glad we won't be announcing it until after the baby is here. It's actually both a boys and girls name, so we could use it for either, which is great because we really do like it a lot. Our girls name that we had before is still nice, but this one is too. I guess it's good that we'll have a couple to pick from once we see him/her in the flesh. I still think it's a boy though.

It's weird because at the 20 week scan i thought it was a girl and my husband thought it was a boy. I thought that on the couple of between the leg shots i didn't see anything, but then i watched the video more clearly and the angle was all wrong, the legs were closed, so of course you didn't see anything, it was just the tops of the thighs. Then at this last scan the trainee technician asked her trainer if she should photograph "this bit" and on the screen was a mass of legs and what looked like a willy and little baby balls. So, that just confused me! I spoke to Scott about it and he thought that from that scan it looked like a girl!! Ha ha! So, the long and the short of it is that neither of us has any clue what so ever, which is GREAT! I am loving it being a surprise and i can't wait until my husband tells me in the delivery room.

That's the best daydream i have and i've been having it for ages now. It's one of the few i allow. LOL! I am on the table having my c-section and they pull the baby out and show the parts to my husband. He then tells me the sex of the baby and i most likely ask "Is s/he okay?" about a million times!

It's nice to have that. I suppose this is what hope feels like, and why it's such a nice thing. I may never ever get to experience anything like that ever in my life, but right now, in this moment. Just thinking about it and hoping that it might come true is lovely.